How to build confidence & Self-esteem

As with a lot of things, it’s best to start this in childhood, with your own children, as the earlier you start to build confidence, the better. Imagine how much happier your child will be as they realise they can do anything they put their mind to. Confidence helps you to develop the growth mindset needed to be able to tackle anything.

This is especially important when it comes to body confidence. You want your child to grow up into an adult who has no issues with their body and is happy with who they are without having to resort to things like plastic surgery.

How to build confidence and self-esteem step by step

I wasn’t always confident. The truth is, when I was a child, right up until I was in my early twenties, I had zero confidence! When I was little, a dodgem accident meant all my teeth were smashed and, when they grew back,  there was no other word to describe them except for ‘goofy’. I had severe acne at school and the fact my mum decided to give me a bowl-head haircut didn’t help either! Imagine how hard it was for a teenager like me to have confidence when they had nothing going for them looks wise!  

Sort out your appearance – One of the first things to do, if you want to feel more confident, is to sort out your appearance I’m not saying you have to be vain about it and I know that changing things on the outside won’t help you feel better if lack of confidence is linked to other underlying issues, but if you know it’s just your teeth or your spots that are making you lack confidence, see if you can do something about it. I got a brace and it was one of the best things I ever did to help my confidence. It was horrible being too ashamed to smile! Nowadays, I lack confidence in certain situations, such as job interviews or speaking in public, but I feel confident most of the time.

Force yourself to be in the spotlight- I often find lack of confidence is linked to shyness and it’s really a fear of being noticed and judged. It’s a real worry about what other people will think of you so sometimes it’s best to just hide away. This is a shame as it stops you doing things that may help yourself – and others to.

Two ways I got over my shyness was to study drama and to work behind a bar in a rugby club – I promise you that you’ll soon get over your shyness and lack of confidence! Put yourself in social situations as often as you can as this forces you to have conversations and doing this helps you realise that everyone lacks confidence, to a certain extent, and they worry about the same things – you’re not alone!

Step three – focus on your achievements

A great confidence booster is to focus on all those things you’ve already achieved. If you’ve passed exams, or won sports trophies or helped raise money for charity – whatever, it is that makes you feel good about yourself will help give you a confidence boost. Lack of confidence is linked to not feeling good enough but if you take a look at the things you’ve already achieved it will give you the motivation to achieve more.

Step four – don’t compare yourself to others

Stop comparing yourself to others. I always find that when we do this it’s always the people who seem to be doing so much better than we are that we compare ourselves too!

One thing I’ve learned, as I’ve grown older, is that a lot of what people put out there is not what’s really going on. I’ve lost count of the number of people, who seemed to have the perfect relationship, who’ve confessed they’ve been miserable for years – it happens all the time- people always put the best (and touched-up) photos of themselves on Social Media. Most of it isn’t real so don’t compare yourself like that. You’re perfect just as you are and you don’t have to be classically pretty,thin or rich to be confident – in fact, a lot of celebs are some of the most insecure people on the planet!


I hope this has helped. The best way to start being confident now is to just act like you think a confident person would act. Once you start doing this, it will become second nature and you’ll wonder what stopped you all of these years,

Need more help? Try this self-help program by a respected personal development professional –


How to manage stress in life

If you’re a working mum you will likely have more stress in your life than most. You have so many things on your mind that you barely have time to think and sometimes it can all get too much and you feel like crashing on your bed and locking the door. You just need 5 minutes – that’s all – just 5 minutes!!!

So, if you can’t even get 5 minutes peace you need to learn how to manage the stress in your life. Here are some things that may help…

Delegate tasks

Make a list of all the things you do in a day and see if there are any that you can ask other people to do. I find that mums tend to take on way too much. Childcare seems to naturally fall to the woman but, if you have a partner, ask them if they would help with some of the childcare such as nappy changing or making tea. If you have money for a cleaner, consider hiring one as it will free up so much time for you. Try not to be superwoman – are there any tasks that don’t need to be on your list – do you really have to hoover EVERY day, for instance?

Make time for you

A lot of working mums have stressful lives because they put others first and their lives are a merry-go round of work, childcare, chores, work, childcare, chores. You need to make time to do things you love to do whether it’s half an hour with a fashion magazine or an evening out with friends. Make the time. When you’re diarising all of the other tasks you need to do for the week, write down that me-time activity and make sure you do it.


There are lots of apps now that help you to meditate. This is good as it helps your busy mind switch off and it can help you feel calmer and rejuvenated. 5 minutes is all you need each day. Surely, you can find time for that? Why not go for a walk during your lunch hour and find someone to sit where you won’t be disturbed. Listen to the track and then go back to your daily routine. A lot of people find this helps, so why not give it a try?


I know how hard it is to fit exercise into a busy day but you only need 15 minutes twice a week to see real results. The Body coach has some great HITT workouts which really get your heart pumping, work all the muscles in the body and help keep you looking and feeling great. Exercise is a great stress buster so why not give it a try. Research has shown that HITT is better for you than an hour’s cardio so that’s even more reason to give it a go. You’ll feel great and have much more energy to cope with your busy lifestyle.

Practice mindfulness

Some people get this confused with meditation but it’s a little bit different. Mindfulness means slowing things down so that you experience each moment. So instead of rushing your child’s nappy change, why not slow down and fully immerse yourself in the experience – I know that the smell of it all sometimes makes you want to get it done quickly, so this is probably not the best example! But basically all mindfulness means is taking the time to appreciate the present moment and as the saying ‘they grow up too quickly, so make the most of every moment while they’re babies’ is so true, then make the time to appreciate the precious time with your baby and feel the stress melt away.



 The Benefits of Subconscious mind programming

If you need to do anything in life, it’ll be your subconscious mind that helps you to achieve it. If you can learn to work with it, you can achieve anything you want. The problem is most people don’t realise just how powerful the subconscious mind is or, if they do, theyjust don’t believe it.

As a hypnotherapist, I understand how the mind works and I find it fascinating. There is so much to learn that it would take several books to even scratch the surface. This is what the subconscious mind itself is like – it’s deep! The logical, conscious mind that we rely on each day to help us make decisions and concentrate is just a fraction of the mind itself and most thoughts and biological processes come from this deep subconscious mind.

Why should we program the subconscious mind?

Even if you aren’t consciously aware of it, the reason you struggle in certain areas of your life, such as finding the perfect career or earning money from your own business, is because of negative programming that happened in your childhood. There is something, or possibly many things, blocking you from achieving your goals.

One of the things I want to do, at Educangel, is help you identify those subconscious blocks that are holding you back, so you can quit your soul-destroying day job and start to earn the money you deserve, while getting your work-life balance back.

How do we program the subconscious mind?

There are several ways we can do this. The most common way is to go to a hypnotherapist or do self-hypnosis. If you know you have a block in a certain area, you can go onto YouTube and look for self-hypnosis videos for the problem you have. There are even some on there that program your subconscious mind with positive affirmations and it’s done so you can’t hear it. This is even better, as it means your conscious mind won’t stop it working.

You can also use affirmations, which are positive statements. You can find these anywhere on the internet or you can create your own. They have to be in the present tense as if you write them in the future tense that’s where they’ll stay – in the future!

An example is: ‘My day job makes me happy and earns me lots of money’. It’s quite a simple example but it should give you an idea. The problem with affirmations is that if you say them to yourself then your conscious mind knows it’s a lie – if you have the boss from hell and you have to drag yourself into the office then your conscious mind knows your job’s not making you happy, even if it is making you lots of money! That’s why it’s best to record them and listen to them when you are in a hypnotic state, which is just before you wake up or before you go to sleep or when you are in a daydream state. You can also write them down and put them where you’ll see them (without thinking about them) every day. The subconscious mind will catch a glimpse of the affirmation before the conscious mind can block it.


I hope this has given you an overview of how important it is to get the right mindset. You need to get your mind working for you, not against you. I will be giving you more tips and tricks on how to do this but, in the meantime, if you’re blocked in a certain life area, and you don’t know why, it could be negative subconscious mind programming, so go and look at YouTube and give one of the subliminal hypnotherapy tracks a try. I’d love to hear how you get on. Miracles can happen when you release a negative block.